Am I really doing this again?

Obviously the last time didn't work and the whole blogging thing went to the wayside. Who knew I'd lose my mind and try Boot Camp again?

I was looking back over my entries and began deleting them to start fresh again, but then I thought I might need those...something to inspire maybe? I don't know...kinda like throwing away pictures from high school...I don't like them but it's what made me who I am today. So I stopped hitting the 'delete' button and here I am.

Last fall I signed up for boot camp again with my bestie. This was a different place, different trainer, but a little earlier. Boot camp was at 5:45AM on Mon/Wed/Fri, and I was there. Yes, I know that's shocking...but I was there. In fact, Bestie picked me up every day! However, we only went for about 4 weeks because my lack of coordination got in the way and I fell resulting in a severely sprained ankle.

Thought about doing something after Christmas, but it never happened. Finally after a recent doctors appointment, I was looking over my blood work. My cholesterol and triglycerides...everything...is great! Doc goes on and on about how he wishes all his patients could have my numbers. But the number written by "weight" was (once again) the largest it's ever been. Wouldn't you know my trainer from the fall sent an email that very afternoon about the new round of boot camps? So I signed up...again...but this time, alone. Bestie hated every minute of it last time and had no intention of getting up and working out at that hour! haha

So for the last 2 weeks, I've been at Boot Camp M/W/F at 5:45 AM. When we weighed in at the end of the first week, I had actually gained one pound! I handled it well though...it was a bloated week so I ignored the number on the scale. This past Friday, at the end of 2 weeks, I have lost 6 pounds.

And now you're caught up Blogger. Wish me luck.

Believing~~~

I'm doing all I can to believe, but gosh it is SO frustrating!!! I can see a difference in my endurance and my strength. I can even see a difference with a few inches (not many, but a few). The scales haven't budged. Not.at.all. It can be so depressing when I'm working so hard!

Today's BC was okay. I made it through so that's all that mattered. There were only two of us again today. I CAN proudly say that I've kept with it when the other women dropped out for one reason or another.

I. WILL. NOT. QUIT!!

I have to remind myself of that from time to time. To be quite honest, I haven't truly wanted to QUIT. I haven't even thought of quitting...I guess that's a good thing. What I think of most is how hard it is...how much I don't like it. I try my best to pull up my big girl panties and remind myself that I'm in this shape because of not taking care of myself. I remind myself of the strength and endurance I've built and how I AM taking care of myself now. And to shut up about it! LOL

I got myself into this shape...it's up to me to get myself out of it.

How I wish I could be one of those "textbook stories". You know....the stories of how my condition and my stick-with-it-ness touched some trainers heart and he wanted to take me under his arm and mold me into a "mini"-him......know what I mean? How come I hear all these stories about how things just fall into place for people?? Why can't things just fall into place for ME?

I know...poor old me. Get over it!

Today I've gotta believe...if my strength and endurance have increased, I must be doing something!

~~~Just keep swimming
~~~Just keep swimming
~~~What do we do
~~~We swim.

Thanks Dory ;)

Boo-Tay Boot Camp

This has been an unbelievable week. Who would believe I would ever sign up, on my own free will, for BOOT CAMP!! Well...it happened. This blog is a result of my push to BELIEVE in myself!! I CAN do this.

Here's a review of the week:

Monday--I've shared my boring story before, so some of you know I have battled weight all my life. Not just an extra 20 pounds, but I'm considered morbidly obese. Over my 35 years, I've done so many diets I lost count! I even auditioned for The Biggest Loser when they were in town, but my partner and I weren't chosen. Then I tried doing it on my own, but it just wasn't working. I thought about losing weight alot, but thinking doesn't make it so!
Finally an opportunity came along that I could not pass up. If I let this go by, that would have meant I had given up on LIVING! I was sent a link to a website about a summer fitness program for kids. When I checked it out, there was a link for Adult Fitness Boot Camp. I clicked on it...just to 'see'. When I read the details, I knew it was MY opportunity. My 'class' meets for an hour every day, M-F. Today was the first day and it runs through the 2nd week of August.

There were only 4 of us there today, and of course I was the only FAT one. The other 3 were just women who wanted to 'get in shape and tone up'. They were really supportive though. I found it interesting that I could do some things much easier than they could! I wasn't sure what to expect when I got there. It was 8AM, and it was already a very humid 75 degrees. It was comfy, until we started moving!! I was able to do all the exercises...but I was sweating like a pig!! Here's the tricky part...I HATED every minute of it. It wasn't fun. It wasn't exciting. But I pushed through. At one point, I thought I was gonna puke, but I just took some deep breaths and pushed through. At the end of my first hour, I was still going, but I started seeing "spots" so the instructor told me I was finished for the day....darn!

I've got my healthy foods/snacks in the house. I've already had 60 oz. of water today.This WILL work. My LIFE depends on it.

Tuesday--
Day 2...I overslept!! And I'll admit I laid there looking at the clock thinking, "It's 8:00 right now....is it really worth getting out ot bed and rushing to get there? You won't get there until 8:30 anyway." Well, I'm happy to report I got my butt out of bed and threw on some clothes, brushed my teeth, grabbed a banana, and ran out the door. I got there at 8:30 and I jumped right in. I made it okay, but it WAS the shortened version.

And.....for the finale......The four of us ladies walked about a mile after class was over!! My thighs are killing me and I'm much more sore today than yesterday...to be expected though. I'm drinking my water. I didn't hate the workout as much today . I still didn't like it, but the 'hate' wasn't there. Guess I'll get up tomorrow and do it all again....except for the oversleeping part!!


Now you're caught up to today...
Day 3: Our instructor is so cute. He's a hottie, but a baby...about 24 years old I think. He's pretty supportive, but he's not as great as I'd like him to be. But then, he wouldn't be doing his job if he said,"Oh gosh...you look like you're having a hard time with that...you can skip this part." On the other hand, he doesn't get in my face and tell me to quit whining and suck it up either!

On that note...a friend in California is going through Boot Camp also. Her instructor sounds like JUST what I need. Today, her instructor told the class, "You made your butt that big, now you have to lift it!" Maybe that's what I need. Who knows?

So back to today...I made it through the class, but I've never sweated so much in my life!! We were doing a 'bridge' today, facing the mat, and I was sweating so much, it was dripping off my nose like a faucet....one drip after another!! I still don't like this Boot Camp stuff. But I keep telling myself, "Shut up...you don't like being fat either." And (at least for the last 3 days) I haven't wanted to eat anything unhealthy. I saw DH's stash of cookies this morning and thought, "OMG, you've lost your mind...after all the sweat and the held-back tears...no way are you screwing that up! Just think how much work you'd have to do again!"


So today, I'm believing in myself. I'm believing in people being supportive. I'm believing~~~